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Saturday, April 26, 2008

To do or not to do

I am so confused. Yesterday morning I was totally excited. Grumpy and I had another appointment at the Jones institute and we got the prescriptions for the next step in fertility treatment and there is a chance that if it works I could be pregnant within the month. Later that night I talked to my mom and she freaked since I have 2 fights coming up one to Germany in August which c(w)ould be my first trimester. My mom is all worried since she believes that I would be a high risk pregnancy and that means I shouldn't fly. Grumpy agrees with this and says too I shouldn't fly if I do end up pregnant. Which means I'd have to cancel both of my upcoming trips - the wedding in Chicago and my trip to Germany for my best friends wedding to which I have been looking forward too for a year now. I was there when they met in 92 and now they finally tie the knot and I may not be there. The option my mom suggested is to wait with proceeding with the next step until after I get back. Grumpy doesn't like the idea since we don't even know if this step will work. Its just taking hormones and there is a good chance it wont work. He feels we should proceed and see if it works if it does then I'd have to cancel the trip.

I just don't know. I know flying is safe in the beginning if its a normal pregnancy and I guess we could go ahead and see what happens and if I do end up pregnant it may be a normal one and I can go after all. Of course even in normal pregnancies things can go wrong and I know I'd blame myself and always wonder if the trips could have been the reason. Which leads me back to probably not doing the trip if I were to be pregnant and that makes me sad. I mean would waiting 3 months be so bad? I have waited for years another 3 months shouldn't be bad. Also since I am still good about going to the gym - 3 more months would hopefully mean more weight loss and a safer pregnancy. The other thing is the finances we are slowly digging ourselves out of dept with my new job and Grumpy's promotion we can finally pay more than just minimum payments. Waiting would give us at least 3 more months of having extra money to pay into credit cards. It would also mean the child would come after my 1yr anniversary with my new job where I get another substantial raise and my job would be more secure since I'd have the experience needed to get a job about anywhere in the industry. But then don't they say if you wait for the perfect time then you'll never have kids because there will always be something????

I know Grumpy wants to move forward but he says its my decision and I just don't know what to do. Any suggestions? I think I am leaning toward waiting but I know it will upset Grumpy I mean he'll leave it up to me but I know he wants to move forward after all he is not getting any younger with the big 40 looming over his head this year.


The Phosgene Kid said...

Wait 'til the flights get closer and then talk with the doctor. Better safe than sorry. Good luck with the treatments!!

Beth said...

wow...if it were ME....i'd put off the flights...having a baby is a little more importnat I think....BUT THAT'S JUST ME!!! I would never begin to think I could tell you what to do with your body and your family!

But it has to be you and Grumpy together to make the right choice for YOU.

ps. I'm sorry your mom never told you about your dad... :(

Dino aka Katy said...

Phos - yeah we decided on better safe than sorry

Beth - if it was just the flights you'd be right but there were other things too.

We decided to wait till august and so far it seems the right decision. The day after we made it Grumpy got promoted which means he'll be gone much more than now - 16-22h days are going to be the norm. I will continue with Gym and get healthier and my job will be more secure. Also this way I can go to Germany which will most likely be the last trip for awhile since annual trips home will be out of the question with a baby. My grandma is in her 80s now and there is always a chance this will be my last chance to see her. Besides I need to go get my cradle - its unique only 3 were made and all painted differently.

angel said...

oh katy... what a tough choice!
you'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you work through this.

The Phosgene Kid said...

You can go to Germany as long as you take me with you. I need some reflection time in Bavaria...and some pils.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Your bunny came to visit - got a picture of the little rascal!

Dino aka Katy said...

Angel - thanks


My bunny came visiting you??? Yukon better not ate it.

The Phosgene Kid said...

You aren't one of those northern Bavarian haters are you?? I lied it down there. I liked Kaiserslautern too, but never sent any time in the North other than passing through to Brunsum, NE. The Rhine kicks ass as well. I went on several Rhine cruises, couldn't get enough of the beautiful river.

Dino aka Katy said...

Phos - NO ONE LIKES BAVARIA except for the Bavarians and tourists. You should have gone to my side of the country its much prettier!