To do or not to do

I am so confused. Yesterday morning I was totally excited. Grumpy and I had another appointment at the Jones institute and we got the prescriptions for the next step in fertility treatment and there is a chance that if it works I could be pregnant within the month. Later that night I talked to my mom and she freaked since I have 2 fights coming up one to Germany in August which c(w)ould be my first trimester. My mom is all worried since she believes that I would be a high risk pregnancy and that means I shouldn't fly. Grumpy agrees with this and says too I shouldn't fly if I do end up pregnant. Which means I'd have to cancel both of my upcoming trips - the wedding in Chicago and my trip to Germany for my best friends wedding to which I have been looking forward too for a year now. I was there when they met in 92 and now they finally tie the knot and I may not be there. The option my mom suggested is to wait with proceeding with the next step until after I get back. Grumpy doesn't like the idea since we don't even know if this step will work. Its just taking hormones and there is a good chance it wont work. He feels we should proceed and see if it works if it does then I'd have to cancel the trip.

I just don't know. I know flying is safe in the beginning if its a normal pregnancy and I guess we could go ahead and see what happens and if I do end up pregnant it may be a normal one and I can go after all. Of course even in normal pregnancies things can go wrong and I know I'd blame myself and always wonder if the trips could have been the reason. Which leads me back to probably not doing the trip if I were to be pregnant and that makes me sad. I mean would waiting 3 months be so bad? I have waited for years another 3 months shouldn't be bad. Also since I am still good about going to the gym - 3 more months would hopefully mean more weight loss and a safer pregnancy. The other thing is the finances we are slowly digging ourselves out of dept with my new job and Grumpy's promotion we can finally pay more than just minimum payments. Waiting would give us at least 3 more months of having extra money to pay into credit cards. It would also mean the child would come after my 1yr anniversary with my new job where I get another substantial raise and my job would be more secure since I'd have the experience needed to get a job about anywhere in the industry. But then don't they say if you wait for the perfect time then you'll never have kids because there will always be something????

I know Grumpy wants to move forward but he says its my decision and I just don't know what to do. Any suggestions? I think I am leaning toward waiting but I know it will upset Grumpy I mean he'll leave it up to me but I know he wants to move forward after all he is not getting any younger with the big 40 looming over his head this year.

Roommate????

Okay I need you all's help. I got a call from a friend last night and I could tell it was hard for her to ask - but she was wondering if she could stay with us for a bit until she got back on her feet.

She was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer a few years back and has been a miracle so far as the doctors gave her just a few months. She has been through many rounds of Chemo and was again in the hospital over the holidays for a "hole" in her foot. She has had more bad luck than anyone I've ever known not much after her initial diagnosis her Mom died and her Dad followed not long after. Her brothers are assholes and the friend she was staying with just kicked her out. She would also bring her dog (which I had kept for her after the initial diagnosis and treatment) Shawna a rotweiler labmix and her cat.

So my question is what would you do? I talked to Grumpy and he said fine as long as she follows the rules (no drugs, no guys unless its someone she is serious with and we know ...) The room she was talking about it off our attached garage and will be my office one day. It doesn't have heat or air but we have portable units for both. The other thing is out city has a animal rule where you can not have more than 4.

I am so conflicted about this. I like my home to myself and am always happy when I see house guests leave but on the other hand if I was in trouble I'd like to think people would help me. Besides I am sure she'd offer to pay and and help clean ... . The other problem is my mother. I told her about it and she said if we did this we shouldn't bother asking her for help. And she wouldn't come up for the holidays to watch the babies while we are in Germany. But then if AJ is still with us we wouldn't need her - and she has been holding the coming up to watch the babies over our head since the day we asked her in order to get her way.

What should I do???? I am leaning towards helping my friend but then there are so many other aspects - what if she gets worse? I can't take care of her. That room is not ideal either - not very well isolated and to me smells kind of moldy. Should we do a paper saying this is short term and she has to follow the rules???????

The other thing is Sassy. I don't know how she will do with another house mate or pets. The last person that stayed with us was the one she bit. While her cat is an indoor/outdoor and would most likely just stay in that room the garage and outside but it would be mean to Shawna not to let her goof off in the back yard.

I just don't know

dunno

I was reading all the beautiful tributes people wrote for today and I am at a loss of words. Thinking about that day still gives me chills. We had a patient that was getting IV antibiotics in the office and he was watching TV so when it happened he called us and we all watched the second plane hitting the tower. I remember being in total denial. I mean come on there is no way planes just hit the towers this is the civilized world not some Hollywood Armageddon type of movie. I didn't see my husband (ex husband now) for 48 hours because they locked down the base. We were moved onto base housing within a month and he deployed to Korea shortly after that. Anyhow someone sent me this video clip and there are some really touching pictures included. So I thought I share it. I worked all day today which was good as I can't watch the tributes that are on TV all day. Grumpy and I did watch the World Trade Center movie last week and I fared better than expected. In a way the movie was uplifting as you only saw things happen from those two cops view and their families and them being saved made a happy ending.

At least tomorrow will be a happier day as it is Ms Jins birthday!!!!!