How do you do it

I just had a horrible call. I have spent the minutes since then on the verge of tears and in tears - I hate crying but I just can't help myself.

The caller was my friend AJ - she had gotten some bad news, the cancer has won and she only has 4-6 weeks to live. There is nothing else they can do for her and she wanted to see me one more time. We were both crying shortly after that. She is 39! I am going to see her this afternoon and as many times as I can after that. I am not sure how I am going to manage as I really don't want to be falling apart there with her I know I can't do that to her. But how do you keep it together?????? Just thinking about it makes me cry. I am taking Mac with me as she loved her and her dog Shawna will be happy to have someone to play with I am sure.

I feel like such a lousy friend. I haven't seen her in god I think about a year maybe more. I hadn't really talk to her for a while there too. I feel so bad that I got so caught up in my life and in the illusion that she would be fine since it had been 4 years (the doctors had given her 6 months). I feel so bad that I hesitated when she needed a place to stay and more than anything I feel bad that I am so damn occupied with feeling guilty about the things I didn't do - which I guess makes me pretty damn selfish.

RATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ....

... as one of my favorite characters (Zedd) from the Sword of Truth Series would say.



I am so annoyed and more than anything I am annoyed at myself. You know how you get mad at yourself because you should know better ...

Mhh let me start from the beginning. I didn't get home early at all this week except for Monday and there I had to do the final project till late.

Tuesday I worked at the restaurant and since we had 4 big parties and a worthless bus boy we had to reset the entire restaurant and do our side work so I didn't get home until around 11:30pm.

Wednesday I had to run from the office down to Virginia Beach (about 45min drive) from there run to the AP meeting at the Bookstore and didn't end up home - for the first time - until about 9pm.

So yesterday I kinda hoped for an earlier night. I had Grumpy walk the pups to the Nature Park where I took them and he drove the car home. After getting home (about 3miles) I grabbed a sandwich and headed to Williamsburg to interview a new Family. These normally take 1 1/2 - 2hours. Mhh 10:30pm!!! I finally called it a night. I headed home trying to stay awake when I thought of calling my Scottish friend to see if she would mind working for me tonight so I could go into the office late (and stay later). She said she would IF I came and met her for a drink. So I got home at midnight loving the idea that tonight I would be home.

Well, as I pull into the office this morning (2hs late since I was planning on working later) I get a call from my friend. She hadn't gone to sleep yet and would be unable to work. RATS!!!!!!!!! now I was missing 2 hours of my already busy workday. I haven't decided if I am going in this weekend to make it up or not. I have enough personal time to last me a life time that's not the issue but not getting my work done is - to me anyway!
The thing is I kinda knew it wasn't going to work last night but I let myself believe that it would - should have known better.

So now I have to work tonight, tomorrow night at the restaurant and Sunday at Busch Gardens. Lets hope the restaurant is busy that way the time will go by fast.

"Sport ist Mord"

Its true I am telling you. (In case you don't speak German the saying above means Exercise is Murder) -

I know its an advertisement but it underlines my point!

See I have been really good this last week. The doggies got a walk every day, the days I work at the office and restaurant - Grumpy took them and I rode my bike when I got home at night.

Sunday I was scheduled for Busch Gardens. I was to attend the selling alcohol training and then go to the shop and see where they needed me. However when I went to our store they had enough people and I could go home which was great. The weather was nice, not to warm and I decided it would be a great day to walk to pups down to the Nature Park.

Its quite a little trip (about 6 mile round trip) but we did good. It takes about and hour each way. We stopped at the doggy park to get some water and I let them run around a bit since no one was there.
However I found that Mac really does not like little yappy mini pincher - there was one in a yard and she nearly took my arm off. We took the same route again yesterday -

YES I walked 12 miles in two day are you proud of me!!!

One the way home we heard the little yappy thing from a block away so I went to the other side of the street until I thought it was save. What I didn't know was that there was some miniature collie in another house - that thing cam at us barking and followed us down the fricken side walk. It was all I could do to hold back Mac and Sassy.

See the reason we don't go to dog parks is Sassy plays very aggressive and she has no problems biting others. Of course the owners from that damn collie were nowhere in sight. I was so pissed. Luckily I finally managed to get my two out of there.

So today I am paying dearly for all the exercise. Not only do my legs hurt but my upper body especially my arms do too. I am not surprised after all I had to pull 220+ pound of determined dogs in the opposite direction they wanted to go. And of course I am working tonight at the restaurant and if I remember right we have a few big parties. Lets hope I will have the use of my arms by then.

I know some of you wanted to comment but the comment link is gone - not sure why but I am working on it

okay just found it. there is a post option now in each post and I guess the default is set on not letting comments

There is a cat in the dog house!

Sorry I haven't posted much this week. Nothing really has been happening. Grumpy and I started to make the time to walk to dogs every day at least around the block. Of course when we did it the first time on Monday I had to go get my jacket out of the car and Sassy thought we were going for a ride and kept hoping in the trunk. It was pretty funny. On days during the week that I work in the restaurant Grumpy takes both of them for their walk. The nice thing about the walk (aside the much needed exercise for us) is that we can reiterate their training. We make them stop and sit and all the fun stuff. Its working too Grumpy said he notices Sassy hesitates on occasion like she thinks about biting but she hasn't. The days I work at the Restaurant I have been riding my bike around the neighbor hood. I am getting in shape last night I was half way around the block before I started getting out of breath and I did my distance in record time too. Grumpy said I need to increase my distance but I want to hold of a couple more weeks. My knees are fragile (2 motorcycle accidents) and I don't want to mess them up by doing to much to soon. I am in no hurry.

Anyhow when I got home from the restaurant I was in a crappy mood. We had a party on the patio (a seminar thing) the same people had been there Tuesday and its easy to work. Well there were only 20 and I told Ronnie I didn't need any help but he made me take the new girl. Well except for my Scottish friend I hate working parties with other people because I end up having to do the majority of the work and then split my tips with them. Same thing here, I did 80% of the work during the party and 90% of the clean up after the party and had to give her 1/2 the tip which wasn't that much to begin with.

My mood did get much better when I got home and happend to glance into Macs house. This is what I saw. Little Miss Cleo decided that she should have Macs house. She came out long enough to say hello to me and then went back in. Of course once Mac came inside from the yard she decided to go upstairs into my bed. The thing thats funny about all this is that Cleo is really not that big on the dogs she tends to stay upstairs when they are in the house.

Well I am off tonight. I am meeting my English friend for dinner at the restaurant since our Scottish friend is working tonight and that way she can join us for a drink when she gets off. Tomorrow I have to work at night at the restaurant and Sunday its working at Busch Gardens. Lets hope the weather stays nice so I wont freeze my butt off.

weekend

Well I hope everyone had a fun or at least productive weekend this St. Patricks day. If you want to see some pictures from the Parade in the town where St. Patrick is believed to have been layed to rest hop over to Gareths place.

Since you all made it clear (by not commenting) that you are not interested in my blog going political - no worries I leave that to the pros most days anyway - we are back to me bitching about crappy tippers, idiot waitresses and oh yeah right what it means to be a real friend - at least in my book.

Friday night started out slow. It was icky outside and we figured there won't be much business at all. I did end up making about $60 which was good but I was also reminded that is does not pay to be gready. So I learned a long time ago not to want specific sections or tables because if I do I get burned. Lets say there is a 12 top coming - if I say I want to take them I end up getting scrued if I just happend to get them assigned to my section I do okay. Its the same with all tables so I don't push - normally. Well the last few weeks I haven't had many shifts and I think I didn't even make $100 in the last three weeks since the nights I did work were dead.
Anyhow sometime throughout the evening I glanced at the reservation sheet and noticed one of the long time customers that I have known for years from the other restaurant was coming in. They are very nice and good tippers so I asked Ronnie if I could have them if a table of mine left. So I focused on getting that table out and get the regulars settled and their orders taken. Well the section I had was spit up in two areas of the room and in the process I totally forgot a table that I had said hi too but never took their order (drink or food) because they weren't ready yet. With that I got really behind and Brenda my scotish friend ended up having to cash out two of my other tables. But it was all well in the end and noone complained (to my knowledge). We also hired a couple new girls. One worked that night but I don't think she'll last. Nevermind that the stories she tells don't make much sense ... I don't know I just can't put my finger on it.

Grumpy was working in the bar so I only saw him for 3 seconds when I got home and he was leaving. Well until he woke me up at 3am with my phone in his hand. Since I am not a morning person (meaning I hate being woked up) my first questions was like what the hell who is it? Grumpy said it was Paul handed me the phone and left. Mhhh curious Paul doesn't normally call me and sure as hell not in the middle of the night. So my first question naturally was what wrong? Thankfully nothing really he just needed to talk to a friend he knew wouldn't bull shit him. So an hour and some later I got to go back to sleep after he made me promise to check in on him the next day. So when I got in touch with him Saturday he said he was sorry for calling me. I told him that is what friends are for - they are there for you to call at 3am when you feel the walls closing in.

Saturday night it was back to the restaurant. It looked like another slow night with it being a irish holiday and us being Italian and all. One of the girls left right of the bet but not until after telling us and Ronnie that the new girl from the night before lied on her application (I knew it!!!!). I got my favorite section so I was happy. I had a couple tables reserved and since I only HAD to make $40 I was happy. Why only $40 --- well because I am happy if I am at least making $100 per week. Anyhow it looked like it was staying slow so the guy that was working the screen room section which hadn't been set went ahead and left too. That left me, Vinnie, Robert a waiter that had been for awhile but not the strongest and another new chick. Well pace picked up and I ended up with my section and the screen room. I didn't screw up and everyone was happy but sadly most people seemed to have forgotten that when you order wine, appetizers, some dinners as appetizers and entrees your bill will be high. I had one table who's check was $143 and he gave me $160 and generously told me to keep the change. WTF?!?!?!? But all in all it was a good night money wise since I made $100 in credit card tips (that is my paycheck next week) and about $30 in cash which allows me to go grocery shopping tomorrow. The new chick is another one that wont be around for long. She actually told Ronnie to get out of the kitchen!!!! that and she is a moron. I am stuck with both new ones tues/thursday so I am going to be annoyed for sure.

I had rescheduled the AP meeting for this Sunday because except for 2 people noone could make it to the iceskating meeting. This is one of my favorite meetings since I love Ice skatings I even brought my skates from Germany last time I was home. Well 3 people showed up and them late!!!! So I ended up just going home and doing my homework.

I just went to take some boots to Grumpy because he has been at 7/11 since 6am (its 7pm now!). They had to fire some people and others never showed up so he had agreed to stay until 4pm (vs his scheduled 2pm) . He called me saying noone is showing up until 10pm and he would have to stay till at least 8pm. He had called the manager and official (he has been the unoffical since he started) assistant manager and neither bothered to even call back!!!! I encouraged him to call the field rep I mean not even calling back is rediculous. Anyhow I took Mac with me to visit him. She decided half way to the store that she wanted to drive and almost pushed us into the ditch. Sassy will come up next time. Alrighty time to do some more homework and then watch my newest show - Blood Ties.

Why do people forget?

Okay so I surfed around myspace and checked "My Marine's" blog where she had the video below posted



Watching them always makes me sad. I hate the fact that humanity can not live with each other without trying to kill each other. I still say my solution to the middle east is the best (Built a wall around them and let them kill each other and leave us the hell alone!)

But anyhow part of her post was also that they will have to go there. Right now they are putting it off until after their wedding next year July. I truly hope things wont be bad then and they will be safer but I know its a long shot. I just wish that the people that sign the papers on the wars would have to be the ones going there too. Lets face it if one or both of the Busch twins where to say Dad we are joining the Military and are being deployed to the Sandbox; how long would you bet - it'd take him to get our troops out of this mess?

I know they signed up to protect us and this country and I am all for supporting our troops but I wish the people in their armored cars with the security detail surrounding them in their nice cozy villas would have to spend time (and I don't mean a couple hours visiting but to live there with the troops a week or two) in what ever situations they send our military too.

Just an Idea somehow I think they'd think twice about signing that piece of paper.

Roommate????

Okay I need you all's help. I got a call from a friend last night and I could tell it was hard for her to ask - but she was wondering if she could stay with us for a bit until she got back on her feet.

She was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer a few years back and has been a miracle so far as the doctors gave her just a few months. She has been through many rounds of Chemo and was again in the hospital over the holidays for a "hole" in her foot. She has had more bad luck than anyone I've ever known not much after her initial diagnosis her Mom died and her Dad followed not long after. Her brothers are assholes and the friend she was staying with just kicked her out. She would also bring her dog (which I had kept for her after the initial diagnosis and treatment) Shawna a rotweiler labmix and her cat.

So my question is what would you do? I talked to Grumpy and he said fine as long as she follows the rules (no drugs, no guys unless its someone she is serious with and we know ...) The room she was talking about it off our attached garage and will be my office one day. It doesn't have heat or air but we have portable units for both. The other thing is out city has a animal rule where you can not have more than 4.

I am so conflicted about this. I like my home to myself and am always happy when I see house guests leave but on the other hand if I was in trouble I'd like to think people would help me. Besides I am sure she'd offer to pay and and help clean ... . The other problem is my mother. I told her about it and she said if we did this we shouldn't bother asking her for help. And she wouldn't come up for the holidays to watch the babies while we are in Germany. But then if AJ is still with us we wouldn't need her - and she has been holding the coming up to watch the babies over our head since the day we asked her in order to get her way.

What should I do???? I am leaning towards helping my friend but then there are so many other aspects - what if she gets worse? I can't take care of her. That room is not ideal either - not very well isolated and to me smells kind of moldy. Should we do a paper saying this is short term and she has to follow the rules???????

The other thing is Sassy. I don't know how she will do with another house mate or pets. The last person that stayed with us was the one she bit. While her cat is an indoor/outdoor and would most likely just stay in that room the garage and outside but it would be mean to Shawna not to let her goof off in the back yard.

I just don't know

I petted dolphins

I love my job not only do I make money to pay the bills (well most of them anyway) but I get to travel to cool places too. Lately I have been Miss social butterfly at the meetings normally I just go to the meetings and spend the rest of the time doing homework and catching up on sleep but all the once this year have been at places I knew people. In January I went to LA were one of my former AP's joined me I also had one in Orlando and there I went to see my mom. Then last weekend the meeting in DC I had 3 different people to see - So I had dinner with a former HF and AP of mine one night then met an old friend for coffee the next day and had a late lunch with yet someone else.

So this week I am in San Diego for a meeting and here are "my Marines" stationed. (for those new readers one of the kids whose AP I was joined the Marines and she and her fiance and stationed here). So needless to say my social calendar was full for the 2 days here. After getting in yesterday I checked in and then went to get my rental car downstairs from Enterprise (a bit pricy but they were in the hotel) and headed to Sea World. You all know how excited I was about going since I had never been. It was only about 10min from the hotel and there were barely any people there yahhhhh. If you want to see all the photos go to flickr I uploaded them in the original size so you can view them big or small. I took over 160 photos but I will only post a view in order not to bore you.

The first place I went was the artic exhibition. There I met these two nice polar bears. They even had snow in their home.

They were next door to the Beluga Whales (sorry if I misspelled it) Those too were having a ball the first place you could see them above and then you could go underneigth where I got this picture from. Unfortunately they were doing some work on the Penguin exhibition so I did not get to see them I did how ever catch the Seamore and Clyde show which was sooo cute. Check out the otter. (click the picture to enlarge it)


My next show was the Dolphin Coluseum. They also had two whales there (forgot the race) that where the only once of their race that perform anywhere in the world. One was called Bubbles. Check out the flying Dolphins below. My favorite was Shamu. It was so cool to see the Orcas they did a whole show around one of the trainers - how he always hoped to see one and one day as a boy was in a Canoe and they where right there and then he became a trainer. They had 4 Orcas out all together some were pretty young and I think they were bred there. The Orcas aas well as the dolphins loved to splash and all the lower rows got soaked. I was in the top row for Shamu because I was running late. I had driven half way down the interstate when I realized that I had forgotten my Busch ID and without that I would have to buy a ticket. After the show all the trainers and (I guess) their supervisor had like a team meeting. He showed them a few gestures and stuff he wanted them to do different. After a while Shamu decided that as he is part of the team too he needs to have an input. It was so cute.

My last stop was the dolphin encounter. There I got to pet a real life dolphin well actually two it was soo cool.
I didn't do any rides since I was by myself and its kind of boring that way. I kept calling Grumpy who started to get really annoyed since he was trying to nap.
I really liked Sea world and can't wait to have kids and take them there.


Speaking of kids, they came and got me and we went out for dinner to the Hardrock Cafe. Maureen had never been there it was fun.

Sea world

03-08-07_1446.jpg
Originally uploaded by dino0477.

Sorry for the delay here is a link for the pictures I took today at sea world. (Click here for larger images) I will post more later.

practicing

Well I took some time tonight to get more familiarized with the camera and since there were some requests for puppy pictures I just had to oblige. I even took a little movie of the muds just for you all. Of course they tried to maul me toward the end but you have to see for yourself

Here is a cute one of SassyYou can even see her tail wagging.

Here is Mac isn't she a cutie????????

And here they are rough housing. If you want to see all the photos I took today click here for the kodak album.

my new toy

I just got back and I didn't have any time to sightsee I did try to take some time to figure out my new toy. Grumpy had given me a Olympus a few years ago as a christmas present and it has served me well and takes great pictures as you all have seen on the blog. However being a gadet lover I wanted a new one. I had noticed the old one was not taking as good indoor picture as it used to and so forth. Anyhow with some help from Mr. Jin I picked the Olympus SP-510 UZ (ultra zoom) . I had hoped to have some time at the meeting to go and play with it but was to busy. I did take some shots and you can see them here.

After the meeting was done last night I went to have dinner with one of my host families that moved up here to DC a few years ago. We stayed in touch and when one of my girls switched families they needed a new AP because theirs wasn't working out either and I thought they'd be a good match - well almost a year later - I guess I was right. It was good seeing the host mom and the AP.

Today after the meeting I went to the Pentagon mall which was near the hotel. That mall is one of the only two places that I know if has a SWATCH store. I have had a swatch since I can remember. They are awsome, fun designs, durable and waterproof. I tend to get a new one every year. And this is my newest one. Like it?

At the mall I met up with a good friend - get this she and her spouse may come to Germany with us in December. See thats where Jess and I met she was living in my dorm while teaching English at my college. Grumpy likes the idea since that way he has someone to talk to and go to museums too while I goof off and reminice about old times with my friends and do the boring errand stuff ect. After catching up with her I met another friend she has worked with me for years in the research stuff. Her and her cute daughter and I had a late lunch and then it was off for me.

The drive home was okay some traffic. Now its time for homework. I am off tueday and wednesday night so if the weather is nice I may the camera out and practice some more so I have it down when I am leaving for San Diego on Thursday.

Fwd:
Originally uploaded by dino0477.

This week better be over or ...

Grumpy took this earlier today doesn't Misty look like she is about to take on the world?

This week was not what it could have been. First I get a call Monday night around 7 from my scotish friend asking me if I had checked my schedule for the restaurant I told her I did and was working Tuesday and Thursday - well it turned out I was supposed to work Monday. I was mortified I have never done that.

Then all that drama with the AP and families and that manager that had no clue on what she was doing. well thankfully that is all resolved now and a new manager was assigned.

Then there is the fact that my office (the doctor) seems to be a poster child for hostile work enviroment. I can not wait to be done with school and leave there.

Mhh tonight was bad too. Well not bad since I missed Mondays shift and have to go to DC tomorrow tonight was my only shift. I had really hoped to make some money but ... I had 3 tables the first 2 tables were nice and the tip wasn't bad but then it turned out the big table that took up the rest of my section turned out to be highschool kids that went to a dance. They all ordered cheap stuff so I didn't make crap.

There are however good news, my camera came today. I played a little bit with it but will take it with me to DC and use my trip to familiarize myself with it. That way I can take awesome shots while at sea world in San Diego next week.