how cool

I think its totally cool that my first time voting for president is done and the one i voted for won. I hope he does well. To me it was an easy decision - having grown up liberal in a socialism culture I am all for spreading the wealth. Now I did consider the other one for a minute but when he chose her and I saw what she stood for it was all done. I am sorry I will never understand how a woman can stand against legal abortions - how can you want to loose the right to decide what you do with your body!!!!!!!!!!!! And to be stupid enough to think that if you make it illegal it would stop it from happening -NEWSFLASH people would still have them - but in back alleys and the deaths from complication and infections would skyrocket. Don't get me wrong I am not for abortions to be used as birth control and I would never have one but I think every woman should have the right to decide themselves. There should be counseling and it should not be an easy fix but it should be available.

Enough politics - I don't usual go on about politics and will not start now. I am traveling as usual - as for the trying to get pregnant issues - still no luck its been 3 months of meds - injections in the stomach. No worries we are not giving up but it seems we will need to take the next step.

To do or not to do

I am so confused. Yesterday morning I was totally excited. Grumpy and I had another appointment at the Jones institute and we got the prescriptions for the next step in fertility treatment and there is a chance that if it works I could be pregnant within the month. Later that night I talked to my mom and she freaked since I have 2 fights coming up one to Germany in August which c(w)ould be my first trimester. My mom is all worried since she believes that I would be a high risk pregnancy and that means I shouldn't fly. Grumpy agrees with this and says too I shouldn't fly if I do end up pregnant. Which means I'd have to cancel both of my upcoming trips - the wedding in Chicago and my trip to Germany for my best friends wedding to which I have been looking forward too for a year now. I was there when they met in 92 and now they finally tie the knot and I may not be there. The option my mom suggested is to wait with proceeding with the next step until after I get back. Grumpy doesn't like the idea since we don't even know if this step will work. Its just taking hormones and there is a good chance it wont work. He feels we should proceed and see if it works if it does then I'd have to cancel the trip.

I just don't know. I know flying is safe in the beginning if its a normal pregnancy and I guess we could go ahead and see what happens and if I do end up pregnant it may be a normal one and I can go after all. Of course even in normal pregnancies things can go wrong and I know I'd blame myself and always wonder if the trips could have been the reason. Which leads me back to probably not doing the trip if I were to be pregnant and that makes me sad. I mean would waiting 3 months be so bad? I have waited for years another 3 months shouldn't be bad. Also since I am still good about going to the gym - 3 more months would hopefully mean more weight loss and a safer pregnancy. The other thing is the finances we are slowly digging ourselves out of dept with my new job and Grumpy's promotion we can finally pay more than just minimum payments. Waiting would give us at least 3 more months of having extra money to pay into credit cards. It would also mean the child would come after my 1yr anniversary with my new job where I get another substantial raise and my job would be more secure since I'd have the experience needed to get a job about anywhere in the industry. But then don't they say if you wait for the perfect time then you'll never have kids because there will always be something????

I know Grumpy wants to move forward but he says its my decision and I just don't know what to do. Any suggestions? I think I am leaning toward waiting but I know it will upset Grumpy I mean he'll leave it up to me but I know he wants to move forward after all he is not getting any younger with the big 40 looming over his head this year.

Holiday spirit???

I know I have been quiet but there is just so much to do these days. Besides all that I have been fighting a nasty cold. Grumpy and I also got some bad news about our chances to have children - not all is lost yet but it looks like I will have to get another job or two to pay for the next step. Its pretty depressing news to get before the holidays. I have wanted to have kids for as long as I can remember and yes I know there are lots of ways out there and I am not giving up yet its just makes me so mad when I see these people that get pregnant in a heart beat - not even trying and then they abort the baby and here we are we can't even get pregnant. Don't get me wrong I am all for pro choice a woman should have a right to decide I just couldn't imagine doing it.

Anyways onto happier notes, December the 13th is coming up fast which is when Grumpy and I go to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra again. And the next day I am leaving for Vegas to have a fabulous weekend with Ms Jin (well and work too). And 4 days after I get back its going to be time to board yet another flight but this one will get us to Germany. I am so excited I can't wait. So to get myself in the spirit of the holidays I am sharing with you a video someone emailed me today

Bunny update

I hadn't seen the Bunny in a few days when Grumpy sent me a text message saying he saved the Bunny from a cat that was chasing it. Apparently the cat (not mine) had the Bunny cornered in the front yard when Grumpy pulled up but he scared her off allowing the Bunny to return safely.

Grumpy sent this to me this morning

Otherwise life is pretty darn boring around here. One of my best friends gave birth last week to a beautiful Baby girl. The best friend of our receptionists daughter (16) is pregnant as seems to be everyone around me as well. It is very depressing to me as I do not seem to be able to. I was ready to be a Mom 12 years ago and still nothing. I actually told our receptionist when she told me about the girl - to bad we can't adopt the baby. I am not to crazy about adoptions just because my sister was adopted and it did not work out and I am still dealing with the emotional scars from that as is my Mom, but if there is noone to take care of the Baby I don't think I could say no. Its not the Babys fault that it was born to a teen Mom that can't/won't take care of it. I think that if I can not have natural children I think I'd like to be a foster parent. This way I can have a lot of children and I have a feeling there are more kids in need of a good foster parent that adoption. Well the numbers maybe the same and I am sure with wars, diseases and natural disasters those numbers will continue to increase but I can only help one child a day.

On lighter news there where no weird customers at the restaurant last night. Three of the au pairs stopped by and the cook was buying them dessert trying to get a date with the Columbian AP but as far as I could tell he got nowhere. The office today was very crazy and the Doc was pissed at me. He kept wanting me to put all these people on study but they did not match the criteria so except for two I lept saying no they don't qualify so he kept getting more pissed off. Fun times.

Tomorrow should be low key I have no patients and I am off at night so I can get caught up on homework.