To do or not to do

I am so confused. Yesterday morning I was totally excited. Grumpy and I had another appointment at the Jones institute and we got the prescriptions for the next step in fertility treatment and there is a chance that if it works I could be pregnant within the month. Later that night I talked to my mom and she freaked since I have 2 fights coming up one to Germany in August which c(w)ould be my first trimester. My mom is all worried since she believes that I would be a high risk pregnancy and that means I shouldn't fly. Grumpy agrees with this and says too I shouldn't fly if I do end up pregnant. Which means I'd have to cancel both of my upcoming trips - the wedding in Chicago and my trip to Germany for my best friends wedding to which I have been looking forward too for a year now. I was there when they met in 92 and now they finally tie the knot and I may not be there. The option my mom suggested is to wait with proceeding with the next step until after I get back. Grumpy doesn't like the idea since we don't even know if this step will work. Its just taking hormones and there is a good chance it wont work. He feels we should proceed and see if it works if it does then I'd have to cancel the trip.

I just don't know. I know flying is safe in the beginning if its a normal pregnancy and I guess we could go ahead and see what happens and if I do end up pregnant it may be a normal one and I can go after all. Of course even in normal pregnancies things can go wrong and I know I'd blame myself and always wonder if the trips could have been the reason. Which leads me back to probably not doing the trip if I were to be pregnant and that makes me sad. I mean would waiting 3 months be so bad? I have waited for years another 3 months shouldn't be bad. Also since I am still good about going to the gym - 3 more months would hopefully mean more weight loss and a safer pregnancy. The other thing is the finances we are slowly digging ourselves out of dept with my new job and Grumpy's promotion we can finally pay more than just minimum payments. Waiting would give us at least 3 more months of having extra money to pay into credit cards. It would also mean the child would come after my 1yr anniversary with my new job where I get another substantial raise and my job would be more secure since I'd have the experience needed to get a job about anywhere in the industry. But then don't they say if you wait for the perfect time then you'll never have kids because there will always be something????

I know Grumpy wants to move forward but he says its my decision and I just don't know what to do. Any suggestions? I think I am leaning toward waiting but I know it will upset Grumpy I mean he'll leave it up to me but I know he wants to move forward after all he is not getting any younger with the big 40 looming over his head this year.